I'm all alone and I need you now.

Last night was the second night I broke down after moving out and away from the people I love. For me, only twice in the first month is doing pretty good. Crying while driving isn't very safe though. I'm tired of being alone all the time. I want to have companionship with someone. Like I told Jenn, I'd welcome tall, blonde moving guy. I'm stuck with man sluts who aren't remotely interested and a creeper who is absolutely infatuated with me. I'm not that desperate. I don't know if I'd ever be that desperate. I know I need to go out to meet people but I'm a homebody. Being out makes me uncomfortable.
It's still like I live alone. There's no conversation at all. I make a point to load the dishwasher or clean a pot or pan even if it's not mine just to keep things civil. I'm scared to give him a reason to be annoyed. I don't know what I'm going to do after May. I'll either need a second job to afford to be on my own alone or I'll have to find another roommate. That's still several months away so I'm trying not to dwell on it too much right now.
Work sucks. Things that I've tried to change or get a grip on with no help over the past 6 months are now being paid attention to and the boss is driving me nuts. I'm tired of the techs doing cruddy work. I'm tired of them trying to deliver the cruddy work. I'm tired of the cruddy work coming back with me getting the majority of the customers anger. I'm also trying very hard to not get fired for cussing out a bitch. It's beyond insane how shitty she can get with me but I'm supposed to stay calm and deal with it?
I miss my mom, dad, Macy, and Nick. Nick got his license and I missed it. Macy called me crying hysterically wanting me last night. I can tell mom is trying to be strong for me and dad needs help that Kristen won't offer up. I wish we still lived in Nashville. I was happier there. Murfreesboro sucks.
I know that the term "best friend" is often used lightly. I get that. I hope that's the case. From past experiences, I'm not good at keeping friends. I moved away and lost touch with people from high school and every friend since (up until a few years ago) has been someone I've worked with. I change jobs, I lose friends. I really hope to be able to hold onto the ones I have now. Ten years down the road I want to still be able to sit around with the girls, have a drink, and say "remember when...?" That was awesome. I'm really struggling with two of them not talking, or not being excessively friendly. I'm caught in the middle and don't want to say or do something to jeopardize either friendship.
The Preds suck and people seem to be okay to cheer for a different team. Joking or not, I don't deal with that well. It's probably for the best that I sit alone from now on. Less temptation to get pissed at people.
Tonight I'm going to a concert alone for the first time. I hope I have a good time. I've been looking forward to it for the past couple of months but as of this morning I wasn't. I'd almost like to just stay at home. If Tim McGraw came out on that stage, it would make my life. It would make my life even more if someone would hit on me tonight. Just to have that validation that I am not completely unfortunate and don't give off a bitch vibe or something. I can't wait to here "Need You Now". I love that song. Even though I don't have a lost love for it to relate to, the words still have meaning with what I'm going through now.