Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I only thought my life was stressful before...

Seriously. The things I have pulling at my brain and my heart and everything else are far more than I thought I'd be dealing with 3 days before I turn 25.

Yesterday, I was pre-approved for a home loan. I'm about to be a first time home buyer. That's scary. I know in my head where I want to live, just have to find the right place. 8 months ago I was packing up my stuff to get out of dodge as cheap as possible and now everything is changing again. I guess we're about to find out how grown up I am. Would be nice if my roommate would act like an adult instead of keeping mum about his problems. He's apparently broke. If I hadn't been approved, it would have been a real issue when it came time to sign a new lease.

Work has changed. Jim was fired. Crazyness is going on in the upper levels of dealership world. I deal with a lady who, as far as I'm concerned, hates my living guts for no reason. IT is probably reading this. *bugged internet* What's her problem? I do my work. I do 3 times as much as your other "receptionists" and I'm the one picked on? Thanks. I don't remember the last time we had a good day at work. One thing or another comes along to fuck it all up at some point. In the past 3 days, Andy has failed to get glass out of a car that that was the reason it was here, I've lost a set of very expensive keys, and myself and Jay have both been very close to going off.

I've been single, pretty much forever. I try not to fall for people too hard, I've learned my lesson courtesy of a shattered heart, especially since the people I have a tendancy to fall for are close friends first. Wish I had continued to listen to my own advice. Speak up about it and it ruins friendships. Again, shattered heart. At the moment, I'm falling hard and I'm scared of hitting rock bottom with this one. Random calls in the middle of a Saturday. Making sure I'm okay when I'm going out. Always asking what I did the night before. Hell, I'm probably reading waaayyy more into things than I should and I tell myself that and then it happens again. I'm so unbelieveably confused. I'm completely in uncharted waters. I'm happy to see that my heart is capable of working again but it's doing overtime right now.

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